ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...finals in 4 days time. 4=sei=die...sei sei sei!!! The pressure is building up...freaking hot weather not helping. My 1st semester will come to an end in 2 weeks time. How will my results be? Hrmmm...???! Strees, stress, stress...feel like going to the beach and shout like there is no tomorrow...ish...!!! Crazy weather today super hot also...man...!!! I need to sleep...lalalala...

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philippians 4:13

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Provebs 3:5-6

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Proverbs 1:7

England 2 - Croatia 3

This was the final score and final nail in Steve Maclaren's coffin. Total disspointment!!! The players have thier fair share to blame in the first half for playing like a bunch of M-league players but the ultimate blame should fall on non other then Steve Maclaren. Was it down to over-confidence? Cockiness? Or just plain stupidity?

Anyone who knows football should understand that experience would prevail in a high tension and high demanding game. Instead of Paul Robinson, Jamie Caraggher, and David Beckham there was Scott Carson, Joen Lescott, and Gareth Barry. Playing Peter Crouch as a lone striker also should be another big clue of who should play to support him. The only man who could and proved that point is David Beckham. A sublime and precise assist to a superb ball controller obviously would lead to a goal. The only players now who could lift England out of thier horrible situiation are David Beckham and Steven Gerrad. Both these players really do have a determination to play the game no matter if the team is leading or losing. Just look at Gerrad's performance when Liverpool are in a rut and when Beckham was playing in the World Cup. People with pure pride to wear the England jersey should only take the lead in order to encourage the rest of the team.

Guess we won't be hearing 'God Save The Queen' during the Euro 2008. Good riddence to Steve Maclaren. A better qualified manager who are tried and tested with smaller clubs and have done well in the Premier League should be choosen. My choices would be Harry Redknapp, Alan Curbishley, or even Alan Shearer. Listed below should be the team that played this morning...

Goal keeper - Paul Robinson
Center backs - Jamie Carragher, Sol Campbell
Right back - Micah Richards
Left back - Wayne Bridge
Right wing - David Beckham
Left wing - Joe Cole
Mid field - Steven Gerrad, Frank Lampard, Owen Hargreaves
Forward - Peter Crouch

We're pilgrims on the journey
Of the narrow road
And those who've gone before us line the way
Cheering on the faithful, encouraging the weary
Their lives a stirring testament to God's sustaining grace

Surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses
Let us run the race not only for the prize
But as those who've gone before us
Let us leave to those behind us
The heritage of faithfulness passed on through godly lives

Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

After all our hopes and dreams have come and gone
And our children sift through all we've left behind
May the clues that they discover and the memories they uncover
Become the light that leads them to the road we each must find

Generous - willing to give and share unstintingly;not petty in character and mind.

Am I too nice/friendly? Do I care for people until I suffer myself? Do I trust people too easily?

Hrmm...as my mum used to say before that this has been my gift and my curse. I means its like so hard for me to say no to friends until sometimes I feel like I'm being taken advantage of but I still can't bring myself so say it out. I just tend to keep things inside. Guess this has been partially due to my teen days where I would just keep everything to myself and eventually when it bottle up too much I vent it out but get shoot back down. Probably I'm just too complecated even for me to understand myself. I don't like to trouble people with my troubles. I find my own ways to release my stress like playing music or playing a sport until I'm super tired but these two things I can't be able to do as much as I used to which leads me to be more frustrated.

I've been dissapointed, frustrated and depressed but I try my best to be normal and act like everything is ok but when sometimes someone poke me too far I retaliate does that make it my wrong? When I'm not in a bad mood I keep very quiet because I know if I make too much noise I would cause trouble due to my mood but if someone takes it as a licese to distrub me would it be right? I put my trust in people but get dissapointment in return, I be too good to people and get taken advantage on in return. Is God really teaching me patience or is this really just the problem of mankind? How sure can we be if what we are doing is part of God's plan or just coincidence?

Just having some thoughts today about this matter. Feel wierd about it all but all in all I know that indeed my future and my life no matter good or bad is in God's hands.

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us. Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. Hebrews 12:1-3

I love who I've become in You
You've changed me from deep within
Without You I can't live
I need the touch of Your strong hand

I only live and breathe in You
Because of You I've been made whole
Without You I can't live
I need the touch of Your strong hand

And I will sing of Your love
And Your mercy forever
Reaching down from above
With a plan for my future
I'll forever proclaim
All the goodness and power of Your name
I will worship You Lord all my days

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Jeremiah 29:11

Lately I've been hearing people said I've changed. Changed for the better they say. I myself do feel I've changed. Looking back on the pass 20 years or maybe the pass 10 years which I can remember better there was alot of ups and downs. Too many screw ups to even remember and the recent event this year. To see myself at every stage in that period brings tears to my eyes as I could have done so much more. I could react differntly to certian situations but honestly I have no regrets for I know that everything do happend for a reason and my life in in God's hands.

As I stare at the beginning of a new chapter in my life, I look at it with much fear. The pass events still haunts me deep and it keeps coming back everytime I try to move on. Will this chapter have a happy ending? Will this chapter be a short one or one that will last till the end of my story? I don't know, I'm scared to tears, and sometines confused. But what I know for now is that all I need is faith in God who is the author and finisher of my salvation and my life. Would God use 2 people to fix up each other's life?

You are forever in my life,
You see me through the seasons.
Cover me with Your hand,
And lead me to, Your righteousness.
And I, look to You.
And I, wait on You.

I'll sing to You Lord,
A hymmn of love,
For Your faithfullness to me.
I'm carried in, everlasting arms
You'll never let me go,
Through it all.


For Thou hast possessed my reins; Thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise Thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvellous are Thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalms 139:13-14

Arloe...just came back from watching Stardust. Hrmmm...I give a 8 out of 10 rating lor. Good story line, funny, and touching. Totaly recomended!

Went and cut my hair also this afternoon and did my Maybank atm card. Yeap...my hair is back short...hehe. Kinda got sick of the long hair as its quite irritating when it falls down.

Hrmm...looking back on the pass 4 months I really fell I changed so much. Sometimes to the point that I don't even remember the person I'm staring at in the mirror. My attitude, my thoughts, my actions...not totaly changed but its different then before. I even find myself falling for a girl whom the last time me would not even be close with. Even with so many flaws I still could see so much promise in her eyes, so much love in her. Words can't even explain how much she means to me now.

Many things has been going on lately until I can't but say that God really has a reason for everything and He is truely so real. I don't know if my tears now are tears of joy, of regret, or of guilt but all I know is God has been with me through the pass 4 months. What I've learnt most in those months is patience. Patience to deal with certian situations. I even find myself not reacting to situations like before but sometimes I just feel so confused. God really do work in mysterious ways and I really do have Him to thank that I'm still alive and healthy after what I put myself through the pass 4 months.

To look to the future, there seems like a bright light at the end but the thougt of dejavu still haunts me. Wounld God do the same thing to me again? I do look to the future with optimism but with alot of fear. Even the fear of God giving me something and taking it away again after it means so much to me.

I know my future's in Your hands,
All of my hopes and dreams and plans
You give me strength to live,
And faith to succeed
I belive in You,
Because You belived in me.

Hrmmm...wonder where to start. My wallet was found yesterday with all my documents but the money was all gone. Anyway, what I wanted was to have all my documents back. I really do thank God for this event. I know I doubt God at times and screwed up my relationship with Him but I guess its time to put my freaking life back on track or just try to make it better.

When the music fades,
And all is striped away,
And I simply come.
Longing just to bring,
Something that's of worth,
That will bless Your heart.

I'll bring You more then a song,
For a song in itself,
Is not what You have require.
You search much deeper within,
Through the way things appear,
You're looking into my heart.

I'm coming back to the heart of worship,
When its all about You,
Its all about You Jesus.
I'm sorry Lord for the things I've made it,
When its all about You,
Its all about You Jesus.

King of endless worth,
No one could express,
How much You deserve.
Though I'm weak and poor,
All I have is Yours,
Every single breath.

Can a place that lead to my life being screwed piece it back together again? We shall c...

Haiz...just as i thougt my life would change for the better it got fucked up again. This morning some idiot stole my wallet. Make me so mafan have to go police station report. Can't you like just take the money?!?!?!...haiz....!!! I don't know lar...in 4 months or ever since I started studying here my life has been getting fucked up at every point. Coincidence or divide work? Its just something that I can't explain. Just as I start to look at the bright things in life and even in my previous post I can finally praise God this happends. Why at times I want to give God the glory and lead a life for Him shit happends? It has been happening since that event happend. WHY!?!

If going to church could make things better, if reading the Bible could give a real hope, if living for God can give me back the life I had before then I would do all those. But now it just seems everytime I try to do something for God shit happends. If this is a so called spiritual battle then I guess God lost or He is just too busy doing something else. Too busy to even give a clear answer for why am I here and why all this sudently is happening. Shit don't just happend so much at once. 2007 is indeed a fucked up year. Haiz...

Oh yeah...changing the blog abit...kinda amature in this so pls bear with me...

It has been a long 4 months for me. Things are still the same as usual but recently there has been a lost in my family which is also my first close relative to pass away. My grandmother lost her battle with stomach cancer on Sunday morning an was called home peacefully. She was discharged from hospital last Saturday citing that the would not last long by the doctors but she lasted a whole week with even a few days where she was so awake that she could have long conversations and even sing!

Above all in that 1 week, a very true lesson that stuck me through all this pain. God indedd has His timing for everything and everything is in His hands wether we like it or not. God allowed my grandma to last that 1 week to be a great testimony to the family and all those who came to visit her. She showed peace and comfort in the grace of God through her pain and even of the thought of staring at the doors of death waiting upon the Lord to call her home. In that week, the 1 thing that stands out above all that has gone through would be my grandpa finally accepting the Lord as his personal saviour last Tuesday. What a joy is it to the whole family and especially to grandma to finally have her deepest desire come true. It was indeed a day of great rejoicing. Even in her weakened state, grandma has a huge smile and laughter of joy after hearing grandpa saying the sinners prayer. Praise the Lord, to God be the glory!

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Matthew 6:25-27

I know you're shining down on me from heaven, like so many friends we lost along the way. And I know eventually we'll be together, one sweet day.