Hrmm...looking back on the pass 4 months I really fell I changed so much. Sometimes to the point that I don't even remember the person I'm staring at in the mirror. My attitude, my thoughts, my actions...not totaly changed but its different then before. I even find myself falling for a girl whom the last time me would not even be close with. Even with so many flaws I still could see so much promise in her eyes, so much love in her. Words can't even explain how much she means to me now.

Many things has been going on lately until I can't but say that God really has a reason for everything and He is truely so real. I don't know if my tears now are tears of joy, of regret, or of guilt but all I know is God has been with me through the pass 4 months. What I've learnt most in those months is patience. Patience to deal with certian situations. I even find myself not reacting to situations like before but sometimes I just feel so confused. God really do work in mysterious ways and I really do have Him to thank that I'm still alive and healthy after what I put myself through the pass 4 months.

To look to the future, there seems like a bright light at the end but the thougt of dejavu still haunts me. Wounld God do the same thing to me again? I do look to the future with optimism but with alot of fear. Even the fear of God giving me something and taking it away again after it means so much to me.

I know my future's in Your hands,
All of my hopes and dreams and plans
You give me strength to live,
And faith to succeed
I belive in You,
Because You belived in me.