How do you expect me to put my faith in God when everything is so shitty? Abraham had Sarah together with him when God called him to go here and there, Noah had his whole family with him, what do I have? People who thinks they understand and friends who seem to care but don't really understand what I'm going through? Talk is very easy, obviously I can talk also if anyone was in the same sitiuation as me.

At the most crucial time of my life, God took her away. How great is that? The person who understands most was taken away without a logical reason, so suddent. I had shit in my life many times, but I had faith, so I thought because there was a becon of hope there for me. Now it's just nothing, total nothing. Learn to let go, get over it, seems so easy to say but do you all really know what I'm fucking going through? You could even say all those you did was because 'it was the right thing to do' and don't mean anything.

Oh yeah...to all those who read and wanna comment on my language then its too bad. If who all seem so 'spiritual' you would know a sin is a sin no matter how big or small it seems to God. A lie no matter if it was a white lie is still a lie to God. So 'shit', 'basket', 'stupid', 'fuck', or any other words you use to curse when shit happends is on the same rank.